Progamer to Programmer

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Restraint

I haven't been able to get around to updating my blog in quite a while. I suppose its because of the unhealthy amount of restraint that I exercise. Before I go out and actually say something (or write an email, or ask a question - whatever), it first gets evaluated: Is it worth saying? Will it offend anyone? Will it simply waste other people's time to listen/read what you have to say? Most of the time, what I'm about to say doesn't pass this censorship, and has to go through a lot of refining before it becomes "suitable". By the time the refinement process is over, the "moment" for saying it has passed, and it loses the potential value it had in the first place.

I suppose this restraint was learnt quite some time ago, and I suppose it did have a purpose then - my tongue was rash when I was a kid, and I did hurt some people (or at least cause them not to like me ;) because of that. Its been quite a while since that time, and the constraining limits that existed then, may no longer apply now.

I want to try to probe the limits. To see whether time has made all those filters become unnecessary.

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I've been using the Anti-Mage's ultimate move (Mana Void) for the sole purpose of making a kill. Checking the opponent's health and mana and making quick calculations to see whether using Mana Void will net a kill. Looking at Mana Void with this sole purpose in mind means that a Mana Void that does not kill is considered a failure. This type of thinking leads me to become conservative with the Anti-Mage's ultimate.

But upon reflection, the Mana Void may have other uses; The relatively large drop in an opponent's health may cause him to panic and flee (even if he still had the upper hand - and ultimately net you a kill as you blink-chase him to death), or weaken an opponent enough for your teammates to kill him off.

Again, being conservative leads to a lot of undiscovered advantages being missed.

---

So far, my approach to mistakes have been to replay it and identify the factors which caused failure. Then chalk it all off as a learning experience. This has allowed me to live with my failures. But I haven't actively "tried to make mistakes". Maybe I should.

This type of thinking reminds me of a quote I read somewhere:

"If you learn from your mistakes, then at the rate you're going, you'll divine the secrets of the Universe in no time!"

5 Comments:

  • question: why is it that when i try playing DotA on single player mode, it doesn't start? ganun ba talaga yun? i don't have wc3 at home so i can't try it out except at outside gaming establishments.

    By Blogger jem, at 6:51 PM  

  • hmmm... 'di ba pang multi lang ang dota?

    By Blogger JAm, at 5:54 PM  

  • This is a reprint of
    RANT RANT VENT VENT CURSE CURSE

    I agree. Blogs are ultimately writers' journals; they're meant to be read. Why devote so much time, energy, and resources to writing in a journal if nobody's ever gonna read it? It doesn't matter whether the journal's open to a select group of friends, or to the whole world; as long as it's public, you know that, somewhere out there, there's a person who's reading words that would never have existed without you. If there's no evidence of your existence anywhere, then you might as well have not existed in the first place. Blogs are a reminder to the rest of the world that their authors have existed. (that's also part of the reason why the concept of the afterlife was invented)

    As a writer, you, mister my-daughter-kicked-my-dog, are free to choose the subjects about which you'll write. As a writer, you are free to choose the words with which you will express your ideas. You have the power to induce, incite, call forth all sorts of ideas from the minds of your readers when they see your works online. You have the power to bring nations down with your own version of Das Kapital, and you have the power to inspire countless people centuries from now with your own version of Desiderata. You have the powwaaahhhh!!!!!

    Of course, with great power comes great responsibility. There is no way to please everyone; even the shortest "asdfasdf" can have an impact on a person. That person may agree with you, and, consequently, sing praises about you, declare you the holiest of gods because of your writing, etc. That person may disagree with you, label your writing as the sickest piece of sh*t ever to grace the Internet, declare war upon your country, etc. (include apathy parallelism here) It's true; people do the dumbest things for the dumbest reasons, including blogs. Hell, even the most boring blog in the world can make people do the weirdest things.

    That is the responsibility that all writers face, but not all writers accept. Some writers are afraid of their own thoughts and their own feelings; they fear the social penalties that their writings may incur. So they write really boring sh*t that hardly anybody gives a damn about (except, of course, for the author of the dullest blog in the world). Or they lock their blogs so that NOBODY gets to see them. After all, if your boss can't see your blog, how the hell is he gonna fire you for all those blogged fantasies you have about poisoning his coffee? Such writers make themselves anonymous, and then dump sh*tty poison coffee all over the place.

    That sh*t SUXX0RZ!

    By Blogger El Raichu, at 11:30 PM  

  • That's interesting. I can't imagine you being rash with words. Granted that you are one of the frankest persons I've known I can't remember you being rash (except when you tried to stomp on the rat!). But of course when I met you, you were already exercising restraint.

    Anyway you must be a little crazy when you were writing this to contemplate on deliberately making mistakes. Not that I haven't made mistakes when I knew that what I was doing was a mistake.

    And on the DotA subject (just so i dont feel left out), oh yeah DotA... :p

    By Blogger Jenoa, at 2:22 AM  

  • So, is that why you have almost no presence on buckfutter these days? That's so freaking moronic!!!

    It is better to have spoken and lost than never to have spoken at all.

    Or something. Who was the wise person who said: "If they're your friends, they'll understand you; if they're not, who cares about them?"

    Dota tayo!!!!!!!!

    By Blogger Raven and Stormcrow, at 1:36 AM  

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